Inverted Wish for Eternal Flow

Kristen Cox

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I chose the cusp

a narrowing cliff-like point
where two prongs
of cub creek converge
to become
the Upper Tar River
as my special place
to make offerings,
and return daily.

bea balm
okra bud
dash of old oregano
passionflower stems
tobacco
dried rose
I brought
to sit in my
crazy creek chair
or stand
mountain pose
meditation
meeting multiflora rose
and river oat seedheads
to canopy me on
either side.

the trees danced today
shaking off their yellow and rusty red
appendages
to cast autumn foliage spells
atop the reflective surface below.

I need the leaves to part.

there is conflict turbinating
between these two tributaries:

one, clearer, rockier, shallower,
curvier, wilder

the other, browner, deeper, wider,
sedimented, waterwaying

Like a dialectic transpiring
to comment on my conditioning

one, more constricted, tense,
reactive, placated, frugal

the other, more abundant, softer, generous,
responsive, non-attaching

I am taking elongated, spacious, deepened breaths
to rectify and cogitate.

I long for a long

exhale -
yet do remember
7 years ago
I branded my left shoulder blade
this cusp of cub creek
inverted
to support my
stewardship and heart,
these headwaters
marking for good
the sound of water
impressioning my back
a wish for eternal flow