Scheduling Conflict or Can: I kick It

Written By Night School Bar

Joey Meinzer

I’ll schedule all of my feelings for December
I just don’t have time right now
Between working and classes
and projects and deadlines and meetings
I have to find time for eating and socializing and sleeping
And I just don’t have time to feel right now
So I’ll schedule all of my feelings for December

Cold and dark December
When all the music is gay
“Buy all the things to show your love,” is what the Capitalists say
So I’ll shop therapy all other feelings away
until December

when I can make a date to cry
and finally say goodbye
to my friend who had a stroke and died
To process my grief
for my uncle whose battle with cancer was brief
Did they depart this summer, or last?
My, how the days have passed
I’ll look it up when I have time
But until then those feelings are for December

I schedule a time to talk with my best friend
but it’s not my turn to share my feelings
So I pull the blanket around tighter,
grab a lighter
hit the bowl
and doom scroll
cause look at that: it can always be worse
I compare and despair
but I’ll schedule those feelings for December

Until then I sleep when I can and I awake with a splitting headache
My body hurts and my mind races
but LOOK a package arrived at my door
Money I don’t need to spend on things I’m not gonna use
I’ve got bills to pay
but I’ll schedule those feelings for December

Until then I ride like waves in a storm the high of dopamine
This brief respite how I cope I mean
How much time has passed while I stare at this screen?
My food’s gone cold as I’ve idly plugged away not feeling
those feelings I schedule for December

I kick that can down the road, my calendar booked fully
New year, new me
Wait, what do you mean it’s January?

I vow to take better care of myself this year
to set aside time to cry the tears
for feeling all the feels
and to eat warm meals
But first I’ve got work to do and classes to attend
and projects and deadlines and meetings
So I’ll put it on my calendar between eating and socializing and sleeping
And I’ll schedule all of my feelings for



Night School Bar
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